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Starlet Helena Antonaccio.  Don’t know exactly what films she’s starred in, but I auditioned her for a guest spot on my nightly Masturbation Theatre.  Overall, a five-tissue performance.

Starlet Helena Antonaccio.  Don’t know exactly what films she’s starred in, but I auditioned her for a guest spot on my nightly Masturbation Theatre.  Overall, a five-tissue performance.

Vintage Latina starlet - well-preserved and shrink-wrapped in polyester.

Vintage Latina starlet - well-preserved and shrink-wrapped in polyester.

Going postal over this mature postal worker’s ass. The stamp on her backside is legal…and tender.

Going postal over this mature postal worker’s ass. The stamp on her backside is legal…and tender.

A smuggled photo of Monsanto’s latest bioengineering feat - a new species of female known as TorsoGirafficus, with nipples doubling as mini satellite receivers.

A smuggled photo of Monsanto’s latest bioengineering feat - a new species of female known as TorsoGirafficus, with nipples doubling as mini satellite receivers.